Illustration by David Dardis

Let People Hate Things

By Jude De Luna

If I could turn back time and stop the “Let People Enjoy Things” comic from ever being published on the internet, the world would quite literally be a better place.

The comic ruined media literacy and allowed for all criticism to be perceived as negative. However, being a hater is fun and allows for good discussion! I have taken the liberty of interviewing a panel of my fellow haters to hear about their opinions. Take note and spread negativity. For their own safety, their names have been liberally changed for this interview.

#1: Do you remember the first thing you ever hated?

America’s favorite: I hated the day my sister was born.

America’s least favorite: I hated the first time I saw my sister.

Gnomeo: My mom.

Mort: A doll I was gifted. I didn’t like how it stared at me. It felt very threatening.

Salt and vinegar chips [too]. It just wasn’t good when I was 5? It burnt my tongue and left behind a core memory.

Bambi: When I was put in ELD in elementary school when I already learned English.

Pussy_SnatcherXOXO: The conscious decision of me being a hater probably coincides with most people’s hatred of Justin Bieber and his first hit song “Baby.” It was played all the time in my house. My sister would watch the music video on repeat on the family computer and I grew to resent that little preteen and his lack of bitches because it was taking up my time playing on coolmathgames.com and “Poptropica.” And what was worse… the song wasn’t even bad. It really slaps, but it also stopped me from enjoying my hard-earned, relaxing gameplay after a long day in fourth grade. I’ll never forgive my sister for taking that time from me — and I’ll never forgive him.

#2: What’s something you have visceral hatred for?/What is something you think everybody should hate?

America’s favorite: You know what I hate the most? I freakin’ hate garlic. Like who eats that?

America’s least favorite: Hilltop Park.

Gnomeo: Capitalism! I have no money.

Mort: Boba being anything above 50 cents. I don't even think it should cost anything when the drink itself is like five dollars nowadays. With all the ice and boba placed inside, you’re getting only eight ounces of drink if you’re lucky. Also, men with podcasts! Primarily those that ramble endlessly about how women need to support men more. They act as if they don't already have the full advantage in current society. Their discussions lack critical substance and they add nothing to the conversation.

Bambi: The way the weather keeps switching from cold to hot back to cold again, so I struggle to pick an outfit to wear for the day. How one of my favorite boba shops raised the number of points necessary to redeem a free drink when I had been saving up the past year to get multiple drinks at once.

Pussy_SnatcherXOXO: I viscerally hate “Euphoria” – and more people should too. The oversexualization of teenagers is so disgusting and a trope that Americans seem to eat up constantly. “Barely-legal” is such a popular fantasy for men because they can’t admit that they would honestly go for younger people if given the chance. I’m tired of going through social media, seeing white and light skinned POC going through their daily struggles that an old white man loves to put them through in his own little perverse fantasy.

#3: Why do you think being a hater should be acceptable in society?

America’s favorite: Because haters rule the world. Literally the politicians that run this country are haters. So if you want to get to the top, become a hater.

America’s least favorite: If there's no one that's hating, then there's something wrong with the world. There has to be a negative point of view for everything.

Gnomeo: When you do it, it helps other people. If I hate on something and someone else likes that thing, then it motivates them to do better.

Mort: It’s about things you can change anyways. I can’t lie to myself or others. It’s a way to facilitate discussion about the problems of society in a productive manner. An open forum, you know?

Bambi: It's good to have your own opinions and express them. Standing by your beliefs even if you know that people may think differently means that you’re confident in yourself. Being a hater helps you be more self-aware. If you're annoyed by something, most likely other people are [too]. You'll know what's appropriate and what isn't, meaning you won't bother others around you. Hating on people can actually help them. They’ll take your criticism into consideration and work to better themselves. For example, after being laughed at for her dancing, Dua Lipa is a much better performer now!

Pussy_SnatcherXOXO: Being a hater is so beneficial in society because it helps keep certain things in check. Have you seen Doja Cat’s wigs before? They were awful. The “Sonic” movie got better because so many people were flaming it. There were so many people going against “Venom” critics so hard that people actually started ignoring what actual critics had to say about it. I think people need to mind their business about certain matters that don’t concern them and should shut up when their opinion isn’t needed. Some people should just be humbled, mainly people who think their opinion matters on issues that don’t concern them.